November 23, 2005 at 1:58 am (Uncategorized)

Some might say its too fast, while some might call me down right stupid to do it. Some think I already am for going this far, others say Im desperate. But who cares right? Its me theyre talkin about. ME… Hahahaha…

Tomorrow (or technically today) will be when all things change – naturally, I hope its for the better too. Hell, I even broke my RM188 rule. Dammit.. there’s sure something special about her.

So tomorrow, at lunch.. my hours of practice will finally be used “pratcially” if you might… What kind of reaction do I expect? I learned the hard way – always … ALWAYS be prepared for the worst! So there you go.. Im going in with no expectations at all. Maybe if she’s nice, she would just laugh it off and pretend nothing happend. Damn, talk about being confident in myself eh? Oh well….

Bah… its 2.20… I have 2 more articles to write before I can officially take it easy for the next 2 days. I have been letting my boss down allot recently… and I feel really shitty about it. I mean… ever since I started working, I have enjoyed “adapting” quickly to the job.

When I was doing sales, I met my quota within a week. I met the team quota within a month. Damn I was hot. Then when I started at HDPM, I was whizzing the system a week out of process training. I remember breaking the team record of 20 deals per day and then 30. All of that while doing weekly scorecards and what-nots handed out by mr AMO. DAMN i was good. Good enough to be a promotion candidate. But alas… too bad my heart wasnt with the job. I couldnt stand to see myself in the same place 1 year down the road. I know I might sound like I am blowing my own trumpet (TRUMPET OK.. I CANT REACH THE OTHER BLOWABLE THINGY)…. but its true… I always liked being the best at what Im doin.. even though it might not be obvious… its true.

Thats why.. when people go “Oh wow… ur new job like so nice yaaa… sure dem enjoy horrr“, I just shrug and say “oklor“. Argh… the way they look at me… as if I was being cocky. But no… hell no… the truth is that its been 3 months.. thats rite.. THREE FUCKING MONTHS… and Im still SHIT at what Im doin. But the bosses have been very gracious about it. They took time to tell me what Im doin wrong and how to improve. I really tip my hat to them – for if my subordinate was to fuck up with such frequency as I, then well… he’d be fired :)

ARGH… its time to sleep. Fuck it all. Tomorrow is a new day. Lets just play it by ear.

me, in one of my many disguises

All Or Nothing – O-Town

I know when he’s been on your mind
That distant look is in your eye
I thought with time you’d realize
It’s over over
It’s not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere’s got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older older
You know I’d fight for you
But how I can fight someone who isn’t even there
I’ve had the rest of you now I want the best of you
I dont care if that’s not fair

Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There’s no where left to fall
When you reach the bottom it’s now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are times it seems to me
I’m sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I dont show it show it
And then there’s times you look at me
As though I’m all that you can see
Those times I don’t believe it’s right
I know know it

Don’t me make me promises
Baby you never did know how to keep them well
I’ve had the rest of you
Now I want the best of you
It’s time for show and tell


Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you’ve got no more room
No room inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There’s no where left to fall
It’s now or never


  1. Charles said,

    Hope that the tag-line that you have been practicing works… good luck mate.

  2. faridz7 said,

    This post has been removed by the author.

  3. faridz7 said,

    OH MY GOD!
    another emo post. damn it man. i like love my emo music and all but an emo post? by you?? with a song by o-town? oh my daze! seriously? o-town? like meredith grey and izzie stevens says..seriously?? o town??

    ill post a line frm a song which better suits this emo post of yours. scared getting shot down eh fragile boy? there we go, frm ozzy.

    But just like the wounded and when it’s too late
    They’ll remember they’ll surrender
    Never a care for that people who hate
    Underestimate me now

    But a shot in the dark one step away from you
    A shot in the dark not a thing that you can do
    A shot in the dark always creeping up on you

    or..or, well if it like doesnt go well..whatever that is youre doing..may i suggest the cardigans then

    I stared into the light
    To kill some of my pain
    It was all in vane
    Cause no senses remain
    But an ache in my body
    And regret on my mind
    But I’ll be fine

    Cause I live and I learn
    Yes I live and I learn
    If you live you will learn
    I live and I learn

    girls are not worth the fight and trouble my friend. trust me! take me for instance. my lovely housemate paired me up with her classmate and taddaaa done. easy. voila. didnt even like go through all that dumb courting dating bullshit hassle. . kinda did that already hmm didnt work really. dont tell. itll be a blow to my ego. what has me getting paired up gotta do with this? nothing really. move on. anyway like dont go crazy emo over a broad. grow a pair and go um do whatever that is youre gonna do. what the hell am i typing. i dont even know. hate this post? you know where to find me.

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