Zouk out… really damn out

December 12, 2005 at 12:34 am (Uncategorized)

Back from Singapore… HELLO MALAYSIA! :)

FUCK man… the weekend was really a mixed bag. Fuckin tired on Friday… The bus ride down south was cocks. Mahai… One would think that taking the 7 pm bus would be a smart choice. I mean… rush hour 5-7pm by the time the bus reach highway at 7.20pm the road should be clear right? WRONG NIGGAAAZ… mahai.. stuck at the fucking iron river highway till 8.30pm… KNNMCB… wasted 1.30 hours of prescious highway time on the fucking jammed up area…. could have reached seremban by then!!!!!! tulan!

Oh well… reached Singapore border at about 11.50pm and half sleepily put my bag through immigrations … but then kuang kuang kuang. FUCKING KENA STOP BY IMMIGRATION OFFICER… NIAMA HE USE MP5 POINT ME SOME MORE!!! For those of you who dont know, MP5 is the fucking machine gun from counter strike. The bastard immigration guy pointed it at me! I was like OMFGWTFBBQ and opened my bag. Then I realise… I fuckin brought along a bottle of whiskey and 6 packs of cigarettes! Hahahahha cibai kena liau… Sure gonna kena SGD$200 fine or somethin so I started thinking up some story tale to tell the guy so I could get away with it…

CIBAI.. I told him the cigarettes are duty free.. I bought them at CHANGI AIRPORT DUMB FUCK… then he lansi-ly told me while pointing his fucking sub-machine gun at me “You are coming into Singapore, you must remember, its a different set of rules here”. TIU LEI. NEXT TIME YOU COME KL I POINT MY FUCKING CANON IN YOUR FACE AND TELL YOU THE SAME THING PUNK! Then I said in an equally lansi tone “Oklor… confiscate them then if you want… tiu”. Hahahahhaha damn funny cos he didnt understand what “tiu” was. Dumb fuck. After 10 minutes of paperwork, he led me to the customs counter. Cibai damn shy … even my bus driver came down and see what happened. Mahai the customs officer some mroe give me some old fuck grandpa who couldnt write without his hand shaking like got the alz-hai-mer disies. PKM… count count count then he taxed me me SGD$45 – SGD$22 for the bottle of Johnnie Walker, SGD$23 for the cigarettes. DUMB FUCK ONLY TAXED ME FOR 3 PACKS COZ I HID THE REST IN MY UNDERWARE HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Then I went “Oh SGD$23 for the cigarettes? How much one pack in Singapore shops?”, then he looked up and replied “about SGD$11 each”. HAhahahah I fucking started laughing there… he must have thought I was dumb? HAHAHAH NO BIATCH YOU THE DUMB FUCK.. AT LEAST TAX ME MORE LA SOHAI I UNTUNG BERSIH 1 PACK YOU NOOB!

Oh well… his loss. CIBAI MY LOSS ALSO LEH. Havnt reach Singapore Singapore already tax kau me SGD$50… NOT CHEAP LEH RM100 GONE LIAU. Nevermind lor.. consider it I went out with Ms. Amber and wasted RM100. HAHAHAHAH true also.. no diff hor? Go out with her then I pay all, fetch her here there. Cibai girl dont even give me head. So I think pay immigrations the RM100 I also bo-rasa. Its ok. Take it fool. YEAH YOU THE FOOL DUMB FUCKIN GRANDPAPA. Sigh….

Anyways… Ms. Amber decided to give me a call Friday afternoon. I was like WTF? Yeah.. its happening again. The fucking cruel cycle just wont end. As a matter of fact, I got a call from Ms. Mandy on the previous few days too. I mean… why do I always get stuck in this kind of routine? Try to go after a girl – fail – try to forget her by knowing more girls – fail the other one – try to forget them both – first one calls – talk with first one a lil more while trying to forget second one – second one calls while first one dissapears leaving you confused – second one dissapears – try to forget them both cos you predict they dissapear cos you failed – cycle starts over again. Its like… fuck… bad karma man. I died and reincarnated into a potato, some one fried me and eat me and shit me out and I become a potato again.

Ugh… anyways… Once I reached Singapore, I took a cab down to the hotel. It was damn near the bus stop and the way the taxi man took passed some posh houses. I thought to myself – wah damn best lor this time. CIBAI when I reached there my phone no credit and the receptionist girl fucking lansi so I walked to the nearest 7-11 to buy reload card. When I walk past I saw many many many many thai and indon and china mei mei walking around with sexy baju. I thought … eh… here got clubbing place meh? Mana tau.. I look up and see the sign board… IT WROTE FUCKING – ORCHARD TOWERS… HAHAHAHAHA CIBAI LOR… EQUIVALENT OF SUN COMPLEX. Fuck… Im staying in a 4 1/2 star hotel strategicly located in a red light district. Oh well… at least if I dont get lucky, I can still get pseudo-lucky right? Hahahahahhahaha….. sigh…

Met up with the gang and headed down to Macky-D’s for some supper. Saw some cibai biker boys trying to do BMX tricks in front of Shaw House. Weird… I look at them but somethin just wasnt right. OH YEAH they arent on fuckin BMX’s… Cibai the bikes all had suspension system and fucking DISK BREAKS! CIBAI DISK BREAKS YO…. Lucky not CF frame.. or I might just go amok. But this one particular dude… looked like a headless chicken. Fuckin kept on ramming this steps. Cycle fast – head down for aerodynamics la konon – wheely straight into a flight of steps – regain his consciousness – gostan to where he was before – repeat steps. Fuckin sorhai… must be some good shit he popped on earlier. SMACKED sial the guy. LOL.

Whacked a Mc Spicy which tasted totally cocks and headed back to hotel. SLEEP lah nothing else to do… Mr. Paul and Mr. KY also not ngam to go chiong :( Too bad Mr. Pharmacy Lim or Mr. Chen or Mr. Chui not there… hahaha sure go chiong at Orchard Towers liau!!

Woke up the next day for buffett breakfast. It was cocks. Had some Trix, some bacon, some friend rice, some omelette and fruit and a sausages. Finished up and went SHOPPING!!!!!! But cibai… the gang got expensive taste sial… Niama keep going CK lor, DKNY lor, AX lor, Dior lor, Guess lor.. mahai… I wasnt stress or angry ler… just quite bored cos all those brands not my taste mah… So just walk walk… I think Mr. KY thought I was emo hahaha but I was ok ler. Just a lil bored. Fucker Mr. Cheah went crazy with Ralph Lauren… Ms. Shirley went mad with bags (bags ok la… me also like bags ^_^) and shoes… MADNESS SIAL!!!

Anyways … we finally decided it was MY TURN TO SHOP!! So they all followed me to the destination of my own choice – FAR EAST PLAZA!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA where else you expect hor? Went a round of downstairs… walaneh … got one bag damn nice damn big damn bling damn yeng… but it was some cocks in house brand called “ZING” … Cibai damn beng lor the brand name. Nice is nice la.. but SGD$45 leh..EXPENSIVE OH. So walk more lor… then Ms. Shirley and Mr. KY found this happening shop called New World Order. KNNCCB THE BAJU THERE DAMN NICE. All focused around the theme of “NEWBIE” I have no idea why but yeah… hell yeah damn best. Bought 2 round neck tees… SGD$22 each. Oklah the quality all feels nice, prints all quite funky, XL size fits me well and sales girl so cute… hahahhaahahha I so wanna tap that ass.

Continued walking. FUCKER DAMN LAYAN SIAL. Its like a condensed sungai wang. Almost all the shops are nice to see. Didnt buy anything else from there, but the stuff there all damn nice. Its the kind of plaza I want to open if I was Bill Gate. Mahai… I so love Far East. ^_^

Left for Zouk Out at 8.30pm… or so we thought. Cipet… waited for Ms. Lili’s friend till abt 9.30pm. TULAN! Not because he late ler… but because we damn hungry !! hahahahha but that time I and Mr. Cheah quite “wing” already cos we whacking Big Gulp ^_^.

Anywayss…. not too long later, Mr. Singapore came in a van. Hahahaha first thing he said to us “welcome to the bang bug” Steady! Hahahaha… He brought us to east cost to makan.. Bedok or something like that lah the place called. Cibai everything looks like Jurong to me… You know.. All HDB flats left and right. Maybe its just me. Maybe Singaporeans will say the same when they go USJ HAHAHAH Fucking trauma man I tell you if they get lost in USJ. Worse than HDB area man. EVEN IM SCARED OF USJ LOL.

One thing is for sure. Singaporean food is damn suck cocks. We tried food from all the stores which had the sign “Official best food of bla bla bla by some cocks tv shop and newspaper”. Niama… All either tasted bland or tasted cocks. Lala was supposed to be “spiciest lala in bedok”. Cibai tasted like sai. No, it tasted DAMN COCKS! Then the bak kon lo mean or something like that. Tasted cocks. No! IT WAS TASTED LIKE SAI. Oklor… nvm… try the super special bak muey. This one… damn power. DAMN FUCKING POWER COS IT TASTED LIKE…. NOTHIN?!!! TASTED LIKE FUCKING RICE TAKE AND BOIL TILL SOFT AND EAT. KNNCCB. Sucks… food so so so sucks. But cheap lor. Mee one bowl SGD$2. Porridge SGD$3. Western chop SGD$4. Cost of living quite low lor hor? COST OF LIVING LOW, FOOD TASTE LIKE SHIT LOR!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHa

So after dinner, we set out for Zouk Out. Mahai I was expecting somethn better than the PD rave. I mean.. the PD Rave was in PD man.. THATS FUCKING COCKS RIGHT? Nah.. wrong.

Point No.1 – PD Rave had to park quite far away. If walk to the rave venue.. about 15 mins walk; Zouk Out have much more parking bays BUT if you want to walk to the venue from the bay its about 45 min to 1 hr walk. SORHAI RITE?

Point No.2 – Since its so far to walk, they provide shuttle buses. PD Rave shuttles came in the form of private cars – each car charge RM10 per ride. Fair enough. 3 minutes reach liau. ZO (Zouk Out) provided free shuttles in the form of “express” bus. However since its so fucking far to walk, everyone wants to get in the bus. Bus almost fell over sial. At any given time, at least 200 people trying to get into a 30 seater bus. Fuckin ang mohs pushing like fuck didnt help things. And they say they are from civilized first world bla bla bla… PUI FUCKING ANG MOH.

Point No.3 – PD is Malaysia. Malaysia quite less Ang Moh. The Ang Moh in Malaysia scared coz if they fuck up… for example go and tiu a keling or machan – gone lah… whole kampung come and pwn them. In Singapore… FUCKING LOT OF ANG MOH. Ang Moh think they damn king – locals give them so much face, all the local girls dying for Ang Moh partner too. Damn sickening. Ang Moh in general really damn sickening. Only one or two nice ones that night. Really drop my respect for Ang Moh now. Even though a first I dont like them already, now … PEI SZE them liau.

Point No.4 – Bad organization. PD rave had about 10k people. Zouk out … about 15k? I dont know. Dont quote me. These arent official figures – just some random numbers I generate from my brain. Sure, you guys got Nick Warren and Van Buren. Ours got Jungle Jerry I think LOL. But see the crowd. Fucking Ang Mohs keep pushing n shit and even climbing over the jungle to get through. Took us 2 hours to get into the rave propper. And by then… no mood lor. Crowd = bad (appart from some really nice locals. Say sorry when they ter-push, say excuse me when wanna go through. Not like fucking Ang Moh push and stare cock at you as if you are supposed to give way to them. FUCK YOU.) Organizers = bad (They had this superiority complex – ie. let lots of ang moh in through “exit” and push all yellow/black/brown people back to the que while shouting “Dont push or we wont let you through. Line up please. OI FUCKERS LINE UP NOW OR YOU CANT GO IN” Bastard organizers oni know how to suck ang moh kuku.) Venue = Horrible (PD Rave venue more suitable. Sand not even but at least got cement walkway – makes the rave look more classy. Cibai for the distance it took to get to the place, one would have expected it to be nicer lor. Oh well.) Media = unrecognized (good in some ways – this kelly got kicked out – he thought his Mediacorp press pass could get him and his kelly friends in the back door. OOPS GOT KICKED OUT AND ASKED TO LINE UP. But when I went to the “media” line – I showed my Juice Crew tag – not recognized, showed my name card with Juice logo – not recognized. Nevermind lor. Die meh? I got ticket anyway CIBAI. Then went inside I realize – hahahha FHM sponser ma.. .sure la wont recognize compettitor lol my bad).

Point No.7 – IT RAINED HAHA.

Point No.8 – I lost count didnt I?

Point No.9 – Too many gays – felt homophobic for periods of time. Especially when the Ang Moh uncle with nipple ring let this young thai looking dude lick his nipple. ARGH NIGHTMARES OF PD RE-OCCOURING?!!!

Bah… suddenly feel damn tulan after reliving the moments. I WILL GO SLEEP NOW. CONTINUE TOMOROW LAH CIBAI.



  1. Charles said,

    That was some crazy shit going down there bro… MP5 and all, whoa… told you those glasses make you look like gu wak jai… hahaha but its all good innit… at least you got a new pair of shoes and the fine was not that hefty… but still MP5, gosh man, once in a lifetime experience… no that i wanna try but it’s something cool to tell your grandchildren about… you should ahve taken a picture, ask him to pint it at you and ask someone to take a pic for you… That would be awesome man, show it to your parents…hohoho

  2. CathKhan said,

    Me went PD rave too…. glad I missed ZO…damn im too old for rave parties happening more than once a year…hehehehehehe

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