What makes you smile?

January 22, 2006 at 7:50 am (Uncategorized)

As gay as it may sound, I re-realized the two of the best things in life (two of many Im guessing). Two of which, I havnt realized in a long time. Two of which, I once knew, but forgot (or made myself forget?) over time.

I was at my senior’s (AVP of sales mmmkay, now thats pretty damn senior heh) wedding today, and as usual, there was the customary free flow of booze and foods. We were strategicly seated next to the door, so we could go in and out to smoke at will. Of course all that changed after the fourth course where we just smoked at our places and kept the doors open but thats a different story altogther rite? :)

Anyways, he has this video montage of him and his wife during the “jip seong moon” (sp?) ceremony. It was fucking hilarious Im tellin ya! The shit he had to go through – humiliating to an extent, gross to an extent. That shit kicks fear factor’s ass yo! hahahahha… But yeah, there was this other video, showing them as kids, as teens and as adults – showing when they first met, showing when they were dating. Then I realized – falling in love – IN LOVE – is a beautiful thing.

I remember back in the day, I fell in love ONCE. Heh, sorry yaal… the other times werent love. They were probably lust or well …. fuck … I just wanted to tap that ass. Lol. Crude, but true. I only fell in love once. And when I fell out of it, I guess I never ever did get back on the love train (ok ok that sounds more lusty than lovey dovey but fuck that rite?).

I always fucked things up before things could happen. I never let myself fall in love, coz I figured love is for wussy boys who want to get married before they tap that ass. Sure it might be noble and romantic n all, but I’ll be honest – for the past 5 years, all I ever wanted was to tap some ass. I guess I didnt want a relationship where commitment and love was involved. I might be speaking for tons of guys out there – we just want to tap that ass, thats why were saying stuff like I love you. Heh, hell, we would be left wanking off if we didnt rite?

But yeah, I realized that falling in love was one of the best things to happen to you. I realized that I might have been pushing myself too hard in the past (up to today). I realized that part of me didnt want to be in love, but wanted to be with a girl. That might not make sense, but yeah. Im guessing that all this while, I just wanted to skip the falling in love stage and expect things to just happen for me. Well dude, its your fault now. You and your video. Makes me wanna fall in love… argh…. ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a side note, my bro told me that I should go after seven chicks at once. Coz the ratio for men to women is like 7:1? So his rational is that well… seven to one rite? You do the math.

Fuck. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now…. >_Michael Learns to Rock – Sleeping Child

The milky way upon the Heavens
Is twinkling just for you
And mr. Moon he came by
To say goodnight to you

I’ll sing for you i’ll
Sing for mother
We’re praying for the world
And for the people everywhere
Gonna show them all we care

Chorus:
Oh my sleeping child the world’s so wild
But you’ve build your own paradise
That’s one reason why I’ll cover you sleeping child

If all the people around the world
They had a mind like yours
We’d have no fighting and no wars
There would be lasting peace on earth

If all the kings and all the leaders
Could see you here this way
They would hold the earth in their arms
They would learn to watch you play

Chorus:
Oh my sleeping child the world’s so wild
But you’ve build your own paradise
That’s one reason why I’ll cover you sleeping child
I’m gonna cover my
Sleeping child
Keep you away from the world so wild

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It’s getting me hard.

January 11, 2006 at 3:19 pm (Uncategorized)

I was listening to this song just now in the car. I couldnt help but to snicker when I heard the phrase “the hardest thing“… but thats just me. Anyway… a closer look and wahaha…

98 Degrees – The hardest thing

We both know that I shouldn’t be here
This is wrong
And baby it’s killing me, it’s killing you
Both of us trying to be strong

I’ve got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep

I’ve made up my mind
There is no turning back
She’s been good to me
And she deserves better than that

It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

I can’t let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart’s not free
We’re not meant to be

It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever had to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don’t love you

I know that we’ll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I’ve got to be cruel to be kind

Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I’ll be sending
And you will never know cuz
There can be no happy ending

It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can’t stay

(Ooh)

I’ve made up my mind
There is no turning back
She’s been good to me
And she deserves better than that

It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

I don’t want to live a lie
What can I do

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Winds of change.

January 11, 2006 at 2:00 am (Uncategorized)

Aint it funny how a certain situation, while looked at from a diffrent perspective, can end up not looking so bad.

I apologise for the giberish (yes and the pussy posts as someone likes to call them) previously posted. It must have been the alcohol talking. Heh.

But seriously, thanks – you know who you are. Thanks for taking the time to talk things over with me. Thanks for detecting that I needed someone to talk to. Thanks.

Looks like, the Lonely Driver is going back to Mount Akina for the time being… coz Castello is back!

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Maybe?

January 10, 2006 at 9:57 pm (Uncategorized)

Maybe it’s because I’ve been alone for too long. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really loved some one before. Maybe it’s because I’m desperate. Maybe it’s because I’m weak.

Why do I feel all confused inside? Why the fuck do I feel this way? It was all supposed to be a game. It was all supposed to be something else – something else than this. What did I do wrong? If it’s not my fault, then why is this happening? Why does my mind want me to think this way? Or isit just my heart? Maybe it’s because I am to desperate? That any impulse in my heart makes my head go *wham*?

I promissed myself not to let this happen again. But maybe it’s because I’m just too weak to fight it off. Who does’nt want to be happy? Who wants to be a miser – sitting there alone in the dark?

But how can I feel this way when I have never really given anything to anyone before? I did’nt give anything to Karen – I sure as hell did’nt give anything to Jane. Is it because of my actions in the past that I’m here now; suffering the way that I am? Or is it just that I’m too desperate? Things are leaning that way right now….

Or is it because I’m just too stupid? Amber played the game – correction – is still playing the game. I’m still following it. I tried very hard to get out of the loop, but I’m still there. Will the same happen again this time? I hope not – and out of that hope, I’m trying hard to force myself out of the circle. Maybe it is true; I don’t belong here – and I never will.

But no one will understand the way I feel. People say that I should be strong, because of the image I project – because of the cockyness towards life that I show. Maybe it’s because I’m insecure? Too insecure with myself that I dont let myself enjoy what’s in front of me. Or maybe I’m insecure with the world. So insecure that I place such a thick protective shell around me? And if that’s so, why do I let – or rather, how the fuck do they manage to get through this shell? Is it because I let down the shell in order to do what I do – and in turn let them in by accident?

But won’t saying that be just like pushing the blame to them? And if I’m pushing the blame to them, won’t it wipe me clean of all the blame? Maybe I can’t accept the blame – the blame for me not being attractive, for me not being social enough, for me not being rich enough? I don’t know. In this state, any reasonable sounding reason is good enough for me.

I don’t want to feel like this. It isn’t fun. I want to stop feeling like this – but that can only happen when I get over it. Or when I die. It’s funny how the heart can be attracted to the things that it should’nt. It makes me think – the guy that once said “love is a many wonderful thing” might have been wrong. If he was me, I would definately change the world “love” to “hope“. Maybe I’m just a victim to hope?

Maybe it’s because I keep ramming the wall with every glitter of hope I see? Sure, hope got me through lots and lots of hard times. When they were banging on the gates of my hell – it fucking felt like the devil himself was banging on my front door – but hope saved me from going mad. When almost everything was lost, and I had to survive my days – going through each like a pauper – hope got me through. Hope got me through many hard times, when alcohol was a short term solution, as was drugs, the only two things that I knew could save me were either death or hope. Thankfully hope brought me this far. It erased the suicidal thoughts, it erased the bitter memories. But will hope get me through this? Would the phrase “I hope so” seem too corny?

I tried – belive me I tried, to fight it. But somehow it is stronger than me. Or maybe I’m just too weak. I’m trying to walk away from it – hoping that turning my back on it is the easiest way out – for me. I know it won’t affect you, because you aren’t even feeling this. I know you have your own problems to face – that’s why I dont want to pile them up on you. That’s why I’m trying so hard to walk away. Maybe one might think it’s happening to fast for me – but that only leads you back to the core question – maybe I’m too weak? Or too sensitive? Or just too fucking desperate? But when the feeling comes… there’s just no fighting it, now is there?

I tried to hold myself back. As recent as just now. Hah. I’m really as weak as I thought.

Just like me
They long to be
Close to you

The Carpenters – Close to you

Pergi saja cintamu pergi
Bilang saja pada semua
Biar semua tahu adanya
Diriku kini sendiri
Kris Diyanti – Menghitung hari

Wise men say, only fools rush in.
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?
I can’t help falling in love with you
UB40 – Can’t help falling in love

I guess life goes on… now does’nt it?

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Its not supposed to!!

January 10, 2006 at 7:59 pm (Uncategorized)

Fuck. Its not suppsoed to end up like this. GAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, its not easy to say “no” to something you want to do or something you want to eat or something you want to watch or someone you want to see, but by gathering the courage and stand to just say “no” to it, and walk away, head held high with no regrets – now thats a real man.

CURRENT TIME : 8.00 PM – DAMMIT DO YOU THINK I CAN DO IT?!!!!!!! WE’LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT N SEE!!!!!!

btw… Its not about quiting smoking, if thats what you’re thinking abt! hahahaha

ARRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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If only,,,

January 10, 2006 at 11:46 am (Uncategorized)

My part in this story has come to an end. I cant afford to get sucked in any longer.

I was never anything more than an “extra” in this story, and thats how I wish it to end as well.

Over and out!

James Blunt – You’re Beautiful Lyrics

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I’m sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won’t lose no sleep on that,
‘Cause I’ve got a plan.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don’t think that I’ll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

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Why I can’t be a bad guy yet…

January 9, 2006 at 11:07 am (Uncategorized)

If there’s one thing that makes my heart bleed more than a knife through it, its the sight of a woman/lady/girl crying.

How can a man – a REAL man, ever live with himself for making a woman cry. How can a man live with himself for not being able to do anything when a woman is crying in front of him.

I wish I was born with the gift of the gab – not just born with the ability to talk shit, but also some sense at times. It always happens…. Whenever I encounter this kind of situation I just freeze up and hope to wait it out. Sure, you can do what I did – just wait it out and hope for the best. But will that always be the best solution? Surely, consoling words weaved with some encouraging ones would be better, no?

But with the situation passed, I feel relieved, that I didnt say anything to make things worse – or did I? All I know is that I feel shit now. I know my friend would have done somehting else, something more gentlemanly, unlike me. But I really hope that my being there did help in some way. Oh well….

Stone Temple Pilots – Half the man I used to be

Forward yesterday
Makes me wanna stay
What they said was real
Makes me wanna steal
Livin’ under house
Guess I’m livin’, I’m a mouse
All’s I gots is time
Got no meaning, just a rhyme

Take time with a wounded hand
‘Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
‘Cause I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
‘Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

I’m half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I’m half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I’m half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I’m half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be

Feelin’ uninspired
Think I’ll start a fire
Everybody run
Bobby’s got a gun
Think you’re kinda neat
Then she tells me I’m a creep
Friends don’t mean a thing
Guess I’ll leave it up to me

Take time with a wounded hand
‘Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
‘Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

I’m half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I’m half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I’m half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I’m half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be

Take time with a wounded hand
‘Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
‘Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

I’m half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I’m half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I’m half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I’m half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be,
Half the man I used to be

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The day I fucked up the world

January 9, 2006 at 12:44 am (Uncategorized)

If there’s something I learnt over the years, its to take every piece of advice given to me with a pinch of salt.

Lets face it. Advice is never neutral – its always biased; there’s always a hidden agenda behind every piece of advice ever given.

Example No. 1

Mom says: Study hard boy!

Hidden agenda: Mother wants you to succeed in life and studies. Does the world want you to be a better person? Nope. It doesnt care. Does the world cry if you fail your studies? Nope. It doesnt care. Does the world feel bad for not bringing you up the correct way? Nope. The world doesnt care.

Hidden agenda – 1
Neutral advice – 0

Example No. 2

Police man says: Dont drink and drive.

Hidden agenda: We’re police men. You sure as hell wont listen to us! Rules are meant to be broken. So please, please drink and drive. When we stop you at a roadblock, we get to distribute our daily quota of summons. Please do it. But if you die, oh well.. We already told you not to!

Hidden agenda – 2
Neutral advice – 0

Example No. 3

Father says: Son, you must finnish your food.

Hidden agenda: Dont waste my fucking food, boy. So what, if that meal you didnt touch could feed a village in Kazakstan for a week? Regardless if you eat it or not, they wont even catch a glimpse of it.

Hidden agenda – 3
Neutral advice – 0

Sure, friends might turn to you for advice. As a friend, you do want to give the best advice you can. But sometimes, the best thing for the world, isnt always the best thing for your friend. Just before you open your mouth to voice out that precious piece of advice, you stop to ponder – what if what I say will fuck things up?

But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don’t belong here
Radiohead – Creep

What if that one piece of advice you gave out, would change the course of things to come. What if that one piece of advice you gave would fuck up a potentially good thing from happening? What if that one piece of advice given was laced to the brim – to the fucking brim – with your own hidden agenda.

Could you live with yourself? Would you be ridden with guilt? Would you blame yourself for things to come – things that happened as a direct result of the advice given?

Would it be your fault?

If it’s wrong to tell the truth
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind
Blue – Guilty

Was all that hidden agenda, all your vasted intrest – clouding up your judgment? Did you think with both your heart and head before you opened that fucking mouth?

I wish I could say I did. I wish I could say that the advice I gave was neutral. I wish I could say that result of following my advice was the for best. I wish I could say it was for the best of everyone, not just me, or a select few people.

I never want to play the games that people play
I never want to hear the things they gotta say
I’ve found everything I need
I never wanted anymore than I can see
I only want you to believe
Blue – Guilty

If there’s something I learnt over the years, its that once something has been said, it cannot be undone.

Nine Days – Story of a girl

This is the story of a girl,
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looked so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles…

How many days in a year?
She woke up with hope but she only found tears.
And I can be so insincere,
Making her promises never for real!
As long as she stands there waiting,
Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes!
How many days disappear?
When you look in the mirror so how do you choose?
Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say…

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES…

How many lovers would stay?
Just to put of with this shit day after day!
How did we wind up this way?
Watching our mouths for the words that we say.
As long as we stand here waiting,
Wearing the clothes of the souls that we choose!
How do we get there today?
When we’re walking to far for the price of our shoes!
Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say!…

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES…

Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say…
This is the story of a girl,
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looks so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her-

This is the story of a girl;
Her pretty face she hid from the world!
And while she looks so sad and lonely there,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles…

This is the story of a – girl!
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looks so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles…
When she smiles.

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I dont belong here

January 6, 2006 at 11:28 am (Uncategorized)

Thinking back on the events of the past few days I think I made quite an idiot of myself…

Radiohead – Creep

When you were here before,
couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so fuckin’ special

But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don’t belong here

I don’t care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I’m not around
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don’t belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She’s running out again…
She’s running out
she runs, runs, runs, runs…
runs…

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don’t belong here

I don’t belong here…

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2005 in a glimpse and 2006 preview

January 5, 2006 at 1:54 am (Uncategorized)

Two words describe 2005 – ANTI CLIMAX

I planned to end 2005 with a bang; literally with a bang, but I guess when its not your year then its not your year right? On the bright side, I almost had a smashing Christmas – for those who didnt know, I once again fell asleep at the wheel and almost smashed into a stationary lorry. WOOT!

Misses of 2005.

1. Missed out being an AMO in HDPM. I was |—| this close to becoming the AMO of the new team at HHI Auto Funding, but as fate would have it, Im a lazy bastard & Im not a member of the prefered race. The first reason, I could deal with – sure, I had to do the weekly & monthly score cards, enter the time sheets into the TCS system, complete my daily ration of deals AND do whatever other task my AMO gave to me (read: make and develop new excel sheets, time sheets, reporting sheets), run the occasional confracalls, run deal balancing, do tech support for the rest of my team (and sometimes other teams), organize centre wide activities, join charity events and play ping pong – but I guess I was still a lazy bastard who couldnt get his act together, while other members of the team did solely what they were paid to do – do deals. Sigh. Life’s not fair is it? NOPE THATS WHY I WASNT BORN AN XXXXXXXXXXXXX COZ IF I WAS I WOULD NOW BE AN AMO WITH A 4K SALARY. Oh well… get over it.

2. Girls. 2005 has been the ultimate year of misses – Azlin played me like a fucking violin. But I was dumb, young and naive then. That nice girl from Apps Taking never gave me the time of day, and the girl from Ops Support turned out to be a dyke. Cyber girl was in and out of the picture, out more than in. Of course, I fucked up real bad over the Ming saga. Lets not even go there… Then there was Mandy and Amber. Fuck. Mandy was a devout member of the LB cult – till today I still suspect her true intentions, while Amber… oh well …

“She take my money well I’m in need
Yeah she’s a triflin friend indeed
Oh she’s a gold digger way over town
That digs on me”

I guess thats brings new meaning to “money cant buy love” HAH!

3. I almost died multiple times. I almost died in Bangsar, almost crashed my car multiple times on Jalan Kuching, almost got killed by a gun wielding Mercedes Benz driving maniac… Im sure there’s something Im missing out… I just cant put my finger on it. Oh, I did get a MP5 pointed at me on my way to Zouk out (at the immigrations) which leads me to point #4.

4. Raves suck – when youre not smacked. PD was cool but I wasnt smacked so I guess I didnt enjoy it as much as I should have. I thought it was crap till I traveled all the way to fucking Singapore to check out Zoukout. Now thats what I call crap. It was so crap it fucking sucked. The only way I could enjoy Zouk Out was if I had the patience of a tibetan monk (to get thru the fucking lines to get in), smacked like a motherfucker, gay, smacked like a motherfucker.

5. I also came to the conclusion that Singaporian booze makes me impotent. But thats a private joke. Oh, yeah it causes memory loss and acts as a sorta “sleeping pill” as well!

6. Perodua is going to fucking kill me. Im watching my darling Wira die day by day and the motherfuckers arent fucking ready to give me my new MyVi. Bastards. It seems theyre only distributing May/June orders now… AND THEY PROMISED ME JANUARY! FUCKERS!

New Years Resolutions

I decided that making out-of-this-world resolutions such as “I will quit smoking/drinking” should be forsaken. Fuck who actually follows this crap rite? So I made my years resolutions based on things I do, so I will actually follow them:

1. Drink more beer – self explanitory
2. Learn how to spell better – self explanitory
3. Blog more frequently – already fucking up on that one
4. Be a bad guy – fucking up too!!

New look/style for 2006

1. New thick rimmed specs – ok ok it was done in Dec
2. Mullet-ish hair cut – also in Dec
3. Hopefully a slimmer me so I can fit into those L sized tshirts
4. Same as above but for pants. Target – waist 35/36.
5. More round neck tshirts and polo tshirts. OUT WITH THE CHEQUERED SHIRTS!
6. Shoes! GIVE ME MORE!!
7. Stay clear of overly geeky gadgets – phones/PDA = ok, ipod = ok, flash drive around neck = no no!

Thats all I can think of at the moment. Its already 2.20am, but Im sure I have more to add. Sigh…

On a side note I just want to express how dissapointed I am today – I was SUPPOSED to go on a “date” – I even did my research like… where to eat n stuff, but a sudden change of plan (sudden to me, she probably meant it that way cos she must have thought I was joking.. sigh) had me attending a “group dinner” instead. Oh well….

The Killers – All These Things That I’ve Done

When there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on

I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know – no you don’t, you don’t
I wanna shine on, in the hearts of men
I want a meet you from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I’m so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out – Yeah
You know you got to help me out – Yeah
Oh, don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out – Yeah

And when there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain’t changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah
You know you got to help me out – Yeah
Oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out – Yeah
You’re gonna bring yourself down – Yeah
You’re gonna bring yourself down – Yeah
You’re gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
(time, truth, and hearts)
Yeah
You know you got to help me out – Yeah
Oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out – Yeah
You’re gonna bring yourself down – Yeah
You’re gonna bring yourself down – Yeah
Oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You’re gonna bring yourself down – Yeah
You’re gonna bring yourself down

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone’s lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I’ve done
All these things that I’ve done
(Time, Truth, and Hearts)
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

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