Stupor

February 27, 2006 at 11:01 pm (Uncategorized)

stu·por Pronunciation Key (stpr, sty-)
n.

1. A state of reduced or suspended sensibility.
2. A state of mental numbness, as that resulting from shock; a daze.

I was thirsty, so I drank. But when I drank, my thirst did not quench, so I drank more. As I drank, I tried to remember what made me thirsty. I grew thirsty because I was thinking of her; I wanted to forget. But as I drank, I could not forget. I could only remember more. Happy moments grew happier, sad moments – sadder. So I drank, and drank and drank. I hoped that by the time I reached the bottom of the bottle, I would be too numb to think. I was wrong. Every sip I took only aplified the thoughts, the memories. It was always one sided from the begining, it was like hitting a brick wall. I thought that if I hit harder, it would finally break and let me in. I belived that if I hit harder, it would let me in. But with each hit, it only grew stronger; the next hit only felt more painful. But with my mind left in a stupor, even though I knew that I shouldnt be doing what I was, I still did. I hit and hit against the wall, I drank and drank till I could no longer drink. I reached the bottom of the bottle, hoping to find joy and freedom, but I only found sorrow and bondage. I sit here now, sounding like I know what’s really going on – but I will return tonight and drink again – hoping to find the thing that I wont, hoping to forget what I cant. Maybe it’s not my thirst that I should heed. Maybe I just need to bleed?

Advertisements

4 Comments

  1. Charles said,

    bro… i think you need to breathe man… you are getting delirious… chill k… breathe and let it all fucking go…

  2. CathKhan said,

    sorrow and BONDAGE?

    Listen to charles… take care.

  3. wernshen said,

    not THAT kind of bondage HAHAHa

  4. faridz7 said,

    so i drank..and i drank..and i drank and i drankkkk…i can get no..jeng jeng jeng..satisfaction..jeng jeng jeng

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: