March 29, 2006 at 1:40 pm (Uncategorized)

Hi mofos. It’s been a while, I must admit, and tons of shit has gone down. I planned many entries, and I shall not make up any sappy excuses as to why I haven’t been updating – there’s only one reason, which is the truth: I’VE BEEN TOO FUCKING LAZY HAHAHA. Oh, and I’ve started playing another MMORPG, so that should be self explanitory enough. GG.

Anyways, here’s a quick update to what’s been goin down recently.

1. I got my new car already. It’s not the tiboo green that I initially planned to get, nor is it the red one. It’s the black one, so yeah. It’s black.

2. Went to catch the Sepang F1 race, grand stand ticket/transport/beer/F1 gear courtesy of O2. I was pretty worried when I didn’t come prepared – I didn’t have my sunblock (not that I tan anyway), my ear plugs (I did bring the Zen tho..), my cap (I gelled), binos (to check out the supposed scantily clad female spectators with), and an airy t-shirt (resorted to a red soccer jersey which made people think I was a Ferrari buff, pfft) – O2 provided us with a kick ass goodie back containing all the shaits that we would need, and more! Thanks Addy!

3. Had a round of seafood in Kuala Selangor, for our second weekly pseudo-singles night out. Planned the third outing to Malacca, but due to the last minute nature of the planning, response was, in the lack of another word – FUCKED. I ended up being the only member of the KL crew in Malacca, but it was still kick ass. Big-up to all the Malacca crew, especially those who ain’t in KL – Kenny K, The Horrible, Jem ICE & special guest appearance by Pilot Z.

4. Looks like April is goin to be a busy month – I have a trip down to JB planned on the 6th and 7th, so any JB folks out there, drop me a line so we can indulge in some dodgy stuff together – I’m gonna a good guide, cos cheonging alone in a strange foreign place isn’t really my cup of tea. Hints of other trips – i.e. enquiry from Kingston for the Computex fair in Taiwan leave me wondering…

5. I’ve finally got my hands on a SLR! It might not be the most professional/popular models out there, but I reckon it’s something good to start out with – it’s the Olympus E330. So far, so good – I’ve successfully perved tested the camera at an event earlier today – the results: mmmmmm…

6. Supposed to get a review car lined up – either an Alfa or the new Civic. No news on that yet tho…

7. Drooling over the prospect of receiving the new Dell 30-inch (yes, thats T-H-I-R-T-Y) LCD monitor. God damn, I don’t even know if it’ll fit on the fucking desk!!

8. I started MMORPG-ing again. It’s the closest thing to WOW that I’ve played so far and it’s called Silk Road Online and it’s free! It uses a Gunbound-ish system, whereby you can BUY stuff for cash. It’s fucking cool and addictive and shit, and even Mr. Han is playing it. So be warned: I’m going to be extremely anti-social after working hours, and if you do plan to join this game, drop me a PM in-game.

9. A friend of mine joined the Haier Super Star search. I had no fucking idea the thing even existed, so just for kicks, I registered myself too! Hah, eat that mofos. So vote for me, and I promise world peace!!! VOTE HERE MOFO.

I swear there’s something I’m missing out here, but fuck that.

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Doctor Who?

March 24, 2006 at 12:18 pm (Uncategorized)

Yes, I stole it from my colleague, but still…


Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.

Q:Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!!… Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

A : Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the
best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
aboutfood and diets.

And remember:
“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
toskid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other –
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO, What
a Ride”

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Proton Hero

March 18, 2006 at 5:59 am (Uncategorized)

It’s not often you’ll hear this – Proton owned Toyota.

Went over to Sepang for ATB’s gig. It was wonderful. Decided to abstain today, so I had 4 bottles of mineral water (RM10 x 4) and a coke (RM10 x 1) instead. I had fun. Saw this nice looking girl, but didn’t dare to chat her up. Anyways, girl, if you’re reading this, do drop me a line… hahahaha as if. *dreams on*

Anyways, left venue at about 1.30am. ATB had left and it was DJ Montreal / Monaco / Monghomary something playing hard house. It was pretty decent, but we were shit tired. We decided to leave, and once I pulled out of the parking lot and was down the road, some dumb fucking cunt smashed into the side of my car. Damn tulan. Had to spend 1 hour locating the “nearest” police station. Fucking pain I tell ya – especially when I had to lug him around in my car, since my car completely owned his. HAHA.

The contender – Wern Shen – steps out from the red corner (police station)

Walking off into the sunset (sunrise) to face battle…

Proton Wira – Exhibit A

Proton Wira – Exhibit B

Proton Wira – Exhibit C

The remains of the Toyota Vios – WHO’s THE JEW NOW MOTHER FUCKER!

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Sorry my balls

March 15, 2006 at 11:07 am (Uncategorized)

Sorry is such an over used word. People shoot it out of their mouths blindly – without even thinking what the word should mean, without really feeling the need to say it. They just say it to make themselves feel better, when in actual fact, it should be said to make the receiver feel better.

Pfft. Well you know what? Dont fucking say it if you dont mean it. Dont say you mean it just cause you see me bitching about it now either motherfucker. The more you say it, the less people are going to appreciate your little act of comfort. ACT of comfort. Hahaha. Mother fucker.

So, if you’re feeling like you owe someone an apology for no aparent reason, I’d suggest you down a big tall cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP. Saying empty sorries isnt going to help – it will only make you look like a fucking jack ass (unless you already do, it’ll make you look like an idiotic motherfucker instead).

Popping up unannounced and uninvited just to drop a sorry and then dissapearing doesnt help. It only makes you look like a bigger motherfucker. But then again, maybe that’s what you want to look like? Maybe that’s what you’re trying to achive? Maybe you’re just retarded? HAHA.

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Reflections and a preview

March 14, 2006 at 2:21 am (Uncategorized)

Its been a long weekend.

Once again, we went out for a nice cozy dinner – this time at Kuala Selangor. I wasnt sure if the food would suite the girl’s taste buds, but Lili, MP and Cindy seemed to love the boiled shell food! I felt so relieved to see everyone leaving the venue on a full tummy!

I had a food overload today as well. Started the day off with Nisin from Kim Gary, then headed off to Modestos for a pasta lunch. Ended the day with a sinful meal of KFC and finished a whole pack of Hi-Sour Cherry bombs by the end of the day.

My deadline this month has been pushed way forward to tomorrow. Technically, it hasnt been pushed forward, but rather last months deadline went way way over due (2 weeks overdue for ed, 3 for sent to print). Shocking to say the least.

Because of that, I stayed in the office till about 1 today. The net connection was down since 8, so I managed to get a ton of writing done! :) I only have like 5 more write-ups to do before I call editorial wraps, and continue updating my pricing. Havent even touched the buying guides yet! ARGH!!

Today was a day full of good news tho. Firstly, my dad called me to inform me that my new car will be ready for pick up within the week. My initial choice of red wasnt readily available, so we settled for the second choice of black. I guess it’s a good thing too, cos the red ones werent the bright reds that the evos or even kenaris have. Match the black paint with a dark tinting and the ride should look pretty pimped out for the time being. I’ll probably only start really looking for body kits and rims once I get the car – no point choosing them now I guess!

Second good news came from my colleague. See, with the way the business works, were usually slumped with tons of editorial requests. Last month I had over 30 writeups to do – 25 of which were editorial requests. This month I only had 20 requests, so that’s a whole burden off my shoulder. On the other hand, I guess that means that I’ll only be spending another 1 or 2 days back in the office. Sigh. I guess Im too used to staying back for a whole week. It might seem crazy to want more work, but I guess it’s the work that keeps me going. Lets just say, it keeps my mind off things.

Thirdly, it looks like she’s found someone special. I guess turning me down was a good thing – I dont think I could give her what she wanted anyways. Wish her all the best.

Fourthly, ATB is coming to town!! Hopefully I managee to get my new car by then, so I can whack off the 1000km by driving down to KLIA! HAHAHAHHA… smart leh? Damn… ATB on Friday, Tiesto on Saturday… I would love to go for both, but as it looks, ATB seems to be the most viable option – mainly cos of the cover charge? A measley RM20 + 1 drink some more!! Wah…. anyways I will try to ask around the office for some free tickets… who knows, I might get lucky?

Fifth, Redzone were offering free tickets upon registration, but the catch is that you’ll have to collect them between 6-9pm. The thing is, I’ll have to be in the heart of KL (probably Shangri-La) hotel at 7pm. Why? Well, lets just say Im going to interview one of the hottest sports celebrities in the world. Im not supposed to tell who he is… BUT I CANT HELP IT… IM TOO DAMNED EXCITED!! JAJAJAJAJAJJA…

*suspense begins*
Here’s a clue – He drives F1.
Here’s another clue – He is Finnish.
Here’s another clue – It aint Mika.
Coming this Friday.

(Click for full image)

The great battle!

P.S. Sorry guys n girls, I’ll probably be late for ATB… Oh well… It’s all about give and take rite? :)

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March 9, 2006 at 6:35 pm (Uncategorized)

Oh ya… one more thing.. Starlight Cinema is coming up pretty soon. I MIGHT have some extra tickets for you guys huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu… Anyways, they’re currently running a design competition and a friend of mine has submitted an entry (number 18). Compared to the rest, his looks pretty good (it’s number 18), so you might want to hop over to the site and vote (for number 18). Hopefully someone (number 18) will win … and we can all have a good night out at Starlight :P


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Steady Boom Pit Pit

March 9, 2006 at 5:15 pm (Uncategorized)

I had a long discussion with a friend of mine about the potential of blogs. He, being a sort of blog evangelist, had nothing but praise for them. I, the cynic that I always am, didnt agree with lots of his views. We managed to come to a point in the conversation where we both agreed that things are easier said than done – as is all aspects of life.

I said I wanted to loose weight and quit snacking… its 5.30 pm and Im fucking urging to get knick a bite of… hmm… keropok lekor maybe? FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Once again, Im struck with the writing block… fucking hell I always.. ALWAYS freeze up when I get my list of writeups for the month… sigh.. Boss lady told me that we are going to finish everything by deadline day (tuesday) so it looks like it’s goin to be a tight weekend.

On the bright side, we’re going for dinner again saturday. Those who came for last weeks dinner are invited for another one this week. Tentatively we’re planning to go down to kuala selangor for seafood, but that’s only a tentative plan. I love that word – sounds like tenticle. Tenticles remind me of hentai… huhuhuhu.. NOOOOOO!! NO PORN!!!!

I might get an alfa to test drive this weekend… but the people in charge havent gotten back to me yet. I wonder which model it would be…. damn… so kan cheong!! AHAHAHHAHA…

Anyways… Im sure this post looks like a pile of bull crap as it is. I promise a more refined one once Im at home. It’s all in a vain effort to unclog my fucking brain – to get the creative juices flowing. You know, all that shit.

P.S. Just for kicks, I decided to register some URL redirectors. You can reach my page now via cibai.co.nr or cibai.bigbig.com. HAHAHAH rawks.

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(Jacking) off to a new start.

March 9, 2006 at 1:05 am (Uncategorized)

I hate it when I find things out the hard way.

I joined my colleagues for futsal today vs how everyone put it as – “some team from some other magazine”. Needless to say, we got our asses whooped (but we sure put up a hell of a fight didnt we boys!!). I was fucking hyped up after watching some ppl play and hopped in when one of my colleagues got tired. Barely 5 minutes later, my knees started giving way. It was strange – I still had the stamina to run around, but my knees were on the verge of breaking. I couldnt take it any more, so I subbed out. I took a long rest and felt much better, and went back in again. A lil more running around, and my knees stated being fuckers again and started failing on me.

If you played futsal with me recently, you’d realize that I’ve picked up a knack for going all out – throwing my body into challenges/chances on goal/to intercept passes etc, but today was differant. I kept falling unintentionally, coz my knees offered the rest of my body no support at all. I tried to make a short sprint to pass but I fucked up real bad – my knees ate up all my strength, so I resigned to the bench for the remainder of the game.

I asked a colleague if a knee brace would help, but he just gave me a snug grin and told me – “lu kuat tua fei kei laaaaa“. I thought to myself – FUCK HE’s RITE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA…. Bloody hell. And if that wasn’t enough, he told me that “one drop of sperm equals to fourty drops of blood”. I replied “wah fuck…”, then it struck me. “WAH! ONE TIME SHOOT WILL COME OUT MILLION OF SPERM WOR!!!”. He laughed and nodded his head – point made.

So taking this into account, I proceeded to analyze myself, and man, I came to the conclusion that I’m in bad shape – physically, emotionally, and… oh did I already mention physically?

*rant starts*


I weigh a lil over a hundred kilos. Im over weight.
I wear size 38 pants. Im over weight.
I wear XL shirts – some of them cant even fit me. Im over weight.
I eat too much. Im over weight.
I drink too much beer. Im over weight.

Friends keep bugging me to join a gym. I just might…..
Start jogging. Any one willing to accompany?
Eat breakfast, so I wont over eat during lunch. Dont snack before dinner.
Stick to hard liquor! HAHAHAHAHHA I LIKE!!


Low self esteem. I suck.
Low self conficence. I suck.
Low tolerance – misohoni. HAHAHAHA. I suck.
Did I mention low self esteem yet? I suck.

Motivate myself, by taking my mind off sad stuff. Join a gym?
By joining a gym, start shedding pounds and toning up. Join a gym?
Use my fucking dumb bells everyday! 30 reps/arm – minimum.
Extend my vow of celebacy to partnerless sex. I deleted all my porn today! Honest.
Hopefully if I shape up, the ladies will start a-knockin on my door. Yay!
Join a gym it is!

Misc. Ramblings
I deleted my porn, so that should help my misohoniness.
Occupy my free time. I was thinking of joining a gym and going jogging. Seriously.
Im gonna take my sights off all things relationship. The harder I look, the more I get dissapointed. I’ll take up the wait-n-see attitude that makes us Malaysians. ^_^
Pump the work baby! That helps keep me busy – majorly!
Set a target – I wanna see changes in 3 months!

*rant end*

On a differant note, I pretty much like the Zen Vision:M. Transfer speeds via USB 2.0 are super! I transfered 700 megs of videos (NOT PORN) in under 3 minutes. I didnt have much chance to use it tho… If I wake up early, I might take the train to work tomorrow… just so I can use the fucker a lil more… lol!!

Bah… Misotired. Migotthemunchiestoo. Misupposedtodiet. Mifuckedup. Misleep.

P.S. I almost fell off my chair when I read this. MOTHERFUCKIN YANNI YO. You know.. the mofo who does his classical music shit. ZOMG! PWNAGE!

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New toy! YAY!!

March 6, 2006 at 3:21 pm (Uncategorized)

Sitting under my desk…

Oh? Whats this?

OOOOPS!! It’s a…




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Careline? MY BALLS!

March 3, 2006 at 8:11 pm (Uncategorized)

I was damn excited when the 3G data card arrived at the office. I checked with Simon to see if the simcard inside was 3G ready, and he said yes. I reached home and plugged it into my Pc and within minutes I was online. Thanks Simon!

Then things started going wrong. I kept getting this weird error message in my browser – “You are not authorized to use this service”. I’m like… WTF? IM NOT FUCKING VIEWING PORN OR NUTTIN… yet…

Anyways, I did what anyone would do and call the Celcom customer service line. After navigating through a platroa of menus, I reached the operator.

*Call starts at 7.20 pm*

W: Hi. Im having problems with my 3G data card.
O: Oh. OK.

*tell her my details*

O: OK sir. You need to put the 3G simcard into a phone and call us with it.

Ok… fair enough. So I did it. She, by the way was the ONLY person who knew what a data card was.

W: Hi. Im having problems with my 3G data card.
O: Oh. OK.

*tell her my details again*

O: Sir, what model phone are you using?
W: Why is that relevant? Im having problems with the data card, not the phone.
O: Sir, is your phone a 3G phone?
W: What? No no, Im not using 3G on the phone. Im using it on the computer.
O: Oh…. ok, sorry Sir. Is your phone 3G compatible?
W: No. That’s why Im using the COMPUTER DATA CARD.
O: Oh. Sir, the problem is very simple…
W: Aha…
O: You need to go to the nearest Celcom center, and UPGRADE your SIM CARD to a 3G..
W: WHAT?! The sim card is already 3G. I was using 3G already. Im just having some…
O: No, sir. You need to upgrade to a 3G sim card.
W: Look.. It is a 3G sim card.
O: Ohhhh!!! It’s a problem for the technical department. Hold on please.

*transfers call to about 6 wrong departments*

O: Selamat petang tuan.
W: Erm… hello? Im having… Saya ada problem with saya 3G data card.
O: Ok tuan. Adakah telefon tuan telifon 3G?
W: Saya tidak guna telefon untuk 3G. Saya guna data card….
O: Ohhhh.. boleh saya tahu model telefon tuan?
W: Saya ada masalah dengan data card.. kenapa mahu tanya tentang telefon?!!!!!
O: Data card?!!
W: Data card! Untuk 3G. Dari Celcom.
O: Oh…. encik guna talian mana untuk 3G?
W: Celcom….
O: Oh… masalah 3G ye? Saya tidak tahu le tuan. Saya bukan technical departmen..
W: Tadi saya di-transfer ke sini. Saya minta untuk technical departmen!
O: Oh. Sini departmen pra-bayar. Saya tak tahu.
W: Transfer saya ke departmen technical sekarang. *dulan oredi*
O: OK!

*puts me on hold for almost 8 minutes*

O: Helo tuan. Tuan hanya perlu tambah nilai.
W: *swt*
O: Ye, hanya perlu tambah nilaii.
W: Thanks.

*Call ends at 8.00pm*


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