Is it really…

March 3, 2006 at 12:50 am (Uncategorized)

… all about love?

I just finished watching a movie called All About Love. It’s a Honger flick about a man who we shall call Mr. A and his wife Mrs. A. He’s a doctor and has no time for her – she misses him very much. One day Mrs. A goes to the hospital to pick him up from work, but he has to pull off another shift of OT. Dissapointed, she drives off, only to be hit by an oncoming car. Mr. A stays with her, till one night on her deathbead, she passes away while he’s out of the room.

Distraught, he doesn’t forgive himself for six years. He doesn’t forget her. Until one day he meets Mrs. B. She’s a chronic heart patient and she’s dying. By chance, he stumbles upon her story and find’s out that he bears an uncanny resemblance to her husband, while she causes him to remember his wife even more – even though they do not resemble each other. He find’s out that her husband has left her and that she is suffering from a servere heart condition, and decides to impersonate Mr. B and accompany her till she passes – while hoping the real Mr. B will return. In the end, Mr. B returns moments before her death.

What he didn’t know was that she found out about his impersonation – and because she understood his intentions, she left an entry in Mrs. A’s diary – it was written as Mrs. A to Mr. A. It told him to move on with life – she thanked him for his love, and for his waiting for her for six years. She wanted him to let go of her so he could live a happy life.

I don’t know, but somehow this movie seem’s to remind me of my own situation. When I first knew her, she was with him. He didn’t love her as much as she did, him. She was heart broken – I tried to fill in his shoes. I was there when she cried, and I didn’t want her to cry again. I tried my best to be the guy she was looking for. I did things with the sole intention of her being happy – never expecting anything in return.

She told me stories of her past – I found out she was on medication. From her stories, I could tell that if she was happy, she could cut down on medication. I tried even harder to make her happy – but I couldn’t. I tried and tried and tried, but unlike the movie, she saw through me. She knew I wasn’t what she was looking for. And unlike the movie, when Mr. A did things he wish he did for his late wife, I wished that the things I did would lead both of us to a happy ending. As I tried harder, I eventually fell. Once I fell, I couldn’t get up – maybe because I was in too deep?

But now that all has been said – all has been done, I wish to write you one last letter; as a person who has feelings for you. I understand fully what you told me. I understand your reasons. I might have sounded rude and childish, I admit that. I know I said that I did not expect anything in return – that is true, but I only blame myself for falling in too deep. You might get the idea that I don’t want to see you, but I’m only a person. I needed sometime alone – to learn how to let go. Please understand that much…

I guess it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. The way I did it might not be the best, but it happened.

Ending the letter, I just want you to know that, if I had a chance, I wouldn’t want it any other way – because I know that I cannot give what you seek. Good bye.



  1. Charles said,

    It is always most painful when your feelings goes out un-echoed. I know one day you will have something that goes two ways.
    And in that movie, Mr.A ate hell lot of oranges in the end… what he did was good… try that instead of drinking.

  2. iling said,

    That’s the sweetest confession I’ve heard. you’re really a good guy, and I know one day you’ll find someone that loves you back as much as you do. For now, you have us and me for sure! don’t eat too much oranges, fart smells and stomach ache. heheh*–>

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