(Jacking) off to a new start.

March 9, 2006 at 1:05 am (Uncategorized)

I hate it when I find things out the hard way.

I joined my colleagues for futsal today vs how everyone put it as – “some team from some other magazine”. Needless to say, we got our asses whooped (but we sure put up a hell of a fight didnt we boys!!). I was fucking hyped up after watching some ppl play and hopped in when one of my colleagues got tired. Barely 5 minutes later, my knees started giving way. It was strange – I still had the stamina to run around, but my knees were on the verge of breaking. I couldnt take it any more, so I subbed out. I took a long rest and felt much better, and went back in again. A lil more running around, and my knees stated being fuckers again and started failing on me.

If you played futsal with me recently, you’d realize that I’ve picked up a knack for going all out – throwing my body into challenges/chances on goal/to intercept passes etc, but today was differant. I kept falling unintentionally, coz my knees offered the rest of my body no support at all. I tried to make a short sprint to pass but I fucked up real bad – my knees ate up all my strength, so I resigned to the bench for the remainder of the game.

I asked a colleague if a knee brace would help, but he just gave me a snug grin and told me – “lu kuat tua fei kei laaaaa“. I thought to myself – FUCK HE’s RITE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA…. Bloody hell. And if that wasn’t enough, he told me that “one drop of sperm equals to fourty drops of blood”. I replied “wah fuck…”, then it struck me. “WAH! ONE TIME SHOOT WILL COME OUT MILLION OF SPERM WOR!!!”. He laughed and nodded his head – point made.

So taking this into account, I proceeded to analyze myself, and man, I came to the conclusion that I’m in bad shape – physically, emotionally, and… oh did I already mention physically?

*rant starts*

Physically

Problem:
I weigh a lil over a hundred kilos. Im over weight.
I wear size 38 pants. Im over weight.
I wear XL shirts – some of them cant even fit me. Im over weight.
I eat too much. Im over weight.
I drink too much beer. Im over weight.

Solution:
Friends keep bugging me to join a gym. I just might…..
Start jogging. Any one willing to accompany?
Eat breakfast, so I wont over eat during lunch. Dont snack before dinner.
Stick to hard liquor! HAHAHAHAHHA I LIKE!!

Emotionally

Problem:
Low self esteem. I suck.
Low self conficence. I suck.
Low tolerance – misohoni. HAHAHAHA. I suck.
Did I mention low self esteem yet? I suck.

Solution:
Motivate myself, by taking my mind off sad stuff. Join a gym?
By joining a gym, start shedding pounds and toning up. Join a gym?
Use my fucking dumb bells everyday! 30 reps/arm – minimum.
Extend my vow of celebacy to partnerless sex. I deleted all my porn today! Honest.
Hopefully if I shape up, the ladies will start a-knockin on my door. Yay!
Join a gym it is!

Misc. Ramblings
I deleted my porn, so that should help my misohoniness.
Occupy my free time. I was thinking of joining a gym and going jogging. Seriously.
Im gonna take my sights off all things relationship. The harder I look, the more I get dissapointed. I’ll take up the wait-n-see attitude that makes us Malaysians. ^_^
Pump the work baby! That helps keep me busy – majorly!
Set a target – I wanna see changes in 3 months!

*rant end*

On a differant note, I pretty much like the Zen Vision:M. Transfer speeds via USB 2.0 are super! I transfered 700 megs of videos (NOT PORN) in under 3 minutes. I didnt have much chance to use it tho… If I wake up early, I might take the train to work tomorrow… just so I can use the fucker a lil more… lol!!

Bah… Misotired. Migotthemunchiestoo. Misupposedtodiet. Mifuckedup. Misleep.

P.S. I almost fell off my chair when I read this. MOTHERFUCKIN YANNI YO. You know.. the mofo who does his classical music shit. ZOMG! PWNAGE!

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6 Comments

  1. Anonymous said,

    hey.. are u serious bout the losing weight thing? come consult me on msn :P

    es-elle

  2. faridz7 said,

    get syafiq to help you baller. under 4 months youll be half the man you are…which is like 4 times the size of me and john combined but the good thing is you’re only half the size of razman. i think. the guy’s really packing it i think. chill baller!

  3. AH LOK KOR said,

    You’re welcome to use my Home Bodyweight Equipment. I may add in a program if you’re really serious.

  4. iling said,

    go wern! you can dooo it =) and i still don’t believe the porn part! you got all my support~! fitness first maybe?

  5. Charles said,

    your comp must be running on extraordinary speed without all those porns…what about those vcds and stuff?… your diet before this worked but why did it stop?

  6. wernshen said,

    stress ma.
    stress leads to anger.
    anger leads to hunger.
    hunger leads to eating.
    eating leads to shitting.
    shitting leads to twinkies.

    ah lok kor, i just might take up that offer.

    oh and i have a dvd of porns – 4.7 gigs for sale :P jajajajaja

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