Quotable quotes

May 15, 2006 at 11:30 pm (Uncategorized)

Geek/IRC humor at its best…

(SPLURGE) bitch tells me i got a drinkin problem
(SPLURGE) i tell her she has an ugly problem and im tryin to make it less obvious
(SPLURGE) we dont get along so well after that

(andyroo) So, whats everyones new years resolution?
(AnimeMan) no more lacking sex
(AnimeMan) 2 times a day minimum
(AnimeMan) what about you andyroo?
(andyroo) With every passing moment, I want to type more gramatically.
(andyroo) I’m just practicing at the moment.
(andyroo) I want to believe that I’m smart, while others think I’m a d#8khead.
(andyroo) Hopefully, now and again an intelligent operator will ban me for this
(AnimeMan) hahah
(AnimeMan) you forgot a period
(AnimeMan) hopefully god doesn’t forget to give my gf one

(brently) i want a girl
(enigmiac) me too
(brently) a good girl
(enigmiac) we’ll see
(brently) a partner
(enigmiac) good girls are hard to fuck
(enigmiac) er,
(enigmiac) find FIND!
(enigmiac) I MEANT TO SAY FIND
(brently) mmhmm

(Auratus) I’m making fun of you because I can
(DeepSeaFishin) Well its thanksgiving
(DeepSeaFishin) and we should be giving thanks to each other
(Auratus) I give thanks for the fact that i can make fun of you over the internet

spE4Ce pREtZEL01: how do I end up being a therapist for all my old gfs
OMGIMJ4KE: comes with the territory
OMGIMJ4KE: same thing happened with mine
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: not that I mind, I love ’em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: collect ’em, trade ’em, show ’em to your friends
OMGIMJ4KE: gotta catch em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: Wendymon, I choose you! Bipolar attack!
OMGIMJ4KE: “Im happy! Now im sad!”
OMGIMJ4KE: Monster is confused!

(Robyn) then we realised that james had fucked with the bunsen burner
(Robyn) and set the lab on fire
(Robyn) penis ensued
(tempura) …penis?
(Robyn) panic
(Robyn) PANIC
(Robyn) shit

(JonJonB) Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in the first Harry Potter Book
(JonJonB) Let’s see the results…
(JonJonB) “Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry.
(JonJonB) “Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything
(JonJonB) A magic wang… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
(JonJonB) “Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.”
(JonJonB) “Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. ”
(JonJonB) Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
(JonJonB) “Oh, move over,” Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry’s wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘Alohomora!”
(JonJonB) The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped – it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.
(JonJonB) He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
(JonJonB) He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
(JonJonB) Ok
(JonJonB) I have found, definitive proof
(JonJonB) that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
(JonJonB) “Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?
(melusine ) O_______O
(JonJonB) Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
(JonJonJonB) Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
(JonJonJonB) ‘Get – off – me!’ Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

(mage) what should I give sister for unzipping?
(Kevyn) Um. Ten bucks?
(mage) no I mean like, WinZip?

(kow`) “There are 10 types of people in the world… those who understand binary and those who don’t.”
(SpaceRain) That’s only 2 types of people, kow.
(SpaceRain) STUPID

(VolteFace`) don’t you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
(peng) …
(peng) what?
(VolteFace`) oh shit
(VolteFace`) don’t you hate it when you DROP shit

(ohm) damn
(ohm) FUCK
(ohm) DAMN
(ohm) i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother’s window pops up
(ohm) FUCK
(ohm) i go like this to her
(ohm) “i want to suck on your clit”
(ohm) FUCK

(Locl-Yocl) I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork… anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.

(xxxGirlygirlxxx) Thank you for listening to me.
(xxxGirlygirlxxx) You know your a really good listener.
(xxxGirlygirlxxx) Sweety please say something.
(Sandaedar) Ok I’m back.

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3 Comments

  1. Simon Langer said,

    Hi, I was surfing the internet and came across your blog. I’m quite impressed , with how it makes such good reading.

    This is one to watch.

    Many thanks,

    american birding associaiton

  2. AH LOK KOR said,

    BLOG COMMENT SPAM….

  3. i ling said,

    Where’s your goood blog material? hahahah!

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