Or so I thought…

April 13, 2007 at 9:10 am (Craps)

I know I’ve been bitching and moaning about the stick I’m getting from life. Sorry for boring you guys. But hey, it looks like things are finally picking up.

Just 72 hours ago I was 100% unemployed and closed to 50% depressed. I was loosing it. It’s true. Like I said in an earlier post – it’s a bad feeling to be told you’ve just lost your job, and it’s an even worse feeling to think that you may not find another. 

Trust me, you, that feeling really sucks. I literally phased out. I didn’t engage in many social activities and I lost my sense of time. Initially I mulled over my misfortune. My late nights grew later by the day (I slept at 4am every day when my GF was around due to my part time job and mild insomnia) and the insomnia grew worse. I couldn’t sleep. I would lie on the bed for 30 minutes and roll around with a hundred and one things going through my head. I slept at 4am then I woke up at 3pm. The next day I slept at 7am and woke up at 6pm. I then slept at 10am and woke up at 3pm.

My cycle was ruined. My body clock was faulty. I couldn’t sleep and surprisingly I couldn’t eat much. I smoked a lot though. I smoked in the hall the hall when the folks were asleep and smoked in my bedroom when they were awake. I left my ciggies in open view and my dad saw them many times. 

He knows, and I think he’s coming to terms with the fact. I’m 25. I guess he will learn to accept it sooner or later.

With my savings running dry, my dad popped me some cash. He told me not to worry about being unemployed and told me to hang in there. He suggested that I consider helping him out in business – which I am seriously considering. He is also very supportive of me getting another job in the mean time (while he sources for capital for our “joint venture”).

My mom thinks I’ve snapped. Every time she see’s me, I’m either sleeping or slamming my PS2. She think’s I’m going crazy and she was pretty damned right. She worries that I will snap any time soon. I don’t mean to give her such pressure, but I guess to some extent, she’s right.

But anyways, that was 72 hours ago. Today I’m still 100% unemployed, but at least I’ve recovered 50% of my spirit. Within the past three days, I’ve received three prospects for jobs.

I’m lined up for an interview with IGB tomorrow at 11 am today, so if anyone’s around the Mid Valley area, jom la, lets do lunch. I’ve also received word (and a test) from a prospective employer in Singapore. If I ace the test, chances are, they will call me down for an interview too. Also, I’ve finally heard back from a local men’s publication – according to the head editor, my chances are good.

It’s funny how things change in a snap. I’m not guaranteed any of the three jobs, but at least my hope is restored. The simple act of replying my calls and emails has given me back my spirit. If only the rest had the decency to say “sorry mate, you’re not suitable”, then I probably wouldn’t be feeling so shite in the first place.

Probably. Who knows? I could be feeling worse.

But fuck that. It’s done and over with. I’m living for today and tomorrow, not yesterday. Wish me luck boys and girls. More importantly, wish me spirit. I need that now more than ever.




  1. yauying said,

    good luck my kawan

  2. faridz said,

    good luck and good spirit. break a penis during your interview later today! which is like 5 minutes away as im typing this comment.

  3. erizabesu said,

    dun give up!!!

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