Cheap Thrills

August 1, 2007 at 10:11 am (Craps, Useless Information)

I was in the mood for a little scare last night, and decided to watch a “horror” movie. That was my first mistake.

Thinking back on the most horrible (notice the word “horrible” not “horror”) movies that I’ve recently watched, I decided that Hostel 2 would be a good choice of evening entertainment. Mistake number two.

I read some reviews of the show in the office and was puzzled with the varied results I uncovered – some sites gave it 10/10 while others gave it a lowly 4/10. I decided to forgo all these reviews and watch it anyway. Third mistake.

I spend an hour and a half watching the show. I regretted every second spent.

Why? Was it so fucking horrible that I ended up vomiting the whole night? Was it so mentally traumatizing that I couldn’t sleep at night? Was it so scary that I’d swear off visiting Slovakia for eternity?

Nope. None of the above.

If you really have to know, IMHO, that show FUCKING SUCKED DONKEY BALLS.

How the fuck did they even have the gall to release such a retarded water down piece of shit? Ugh. Compared to the legendary vomit inducing, sleep depriving, nightmare inspiring Hostel, Hostel 2 was like an episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants a.k.a IT WAS GAY.

Strike One – It lacked the gruesomeness of  the original Hostel.
Strike Two – It focused too much on “story development”, which in a pseudo snuff flick like this one, is not needed AT ALL.
Strike Three – It was boring. Refer to Strike One and Strike Two.

All in all, this movie was bad. It sucked. Don’t bother watching it in a cinema. On second thought, watch it in a cinema. There isn’t much to censor apart from boobies.

Pfft.

pun.jpgpunhalf.jpg

The Hostel 2 gets 1 1/2 PunPuns out of five.

Advertisements

3 Comments

  1. faridz said,

    i think someones giving razman a run for his money in this movie review blogging thing. I think the problem with Hostel 2 was that, the director had the wrong girl getting her tits out. Unlike Hostel 1, all the right people had their tits out. Owwww! fierce.

  2. AHLOKKOR said,

    HAHAHA……..Bring on the DVD… :) Boobies are essential.

    Eli Roth is losing his touch………Back to the scriptwriting board.

  3. Charles said,

    I thought that there was at least one good scene….. no no make that two…. first, where the dogs ate up that fucker’s kukujiao….. second scene is where those cibai kids play football with that bitch’s severed head… hahaha that was good…..
    Try watching Turistas, that one’s not bad.
    Try watching When Harry met Pussy…. that is a good watch too.
    Cheers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: