Revelations.

July 31, 2005 at 10:19 pm (Uncategorized)

As the month of July comes to an end, so does another saga of my life.

I finally discovered what being a gracious looser means. Accepting defeat with a smile on your face never seemed so satisfying. Knowing you tried your best never and still failed felt so gratifying. Learning from your mistakes never seemed so fulfilling.

I played with fire. At first it was so exciting. I loved the thrill of almost getting burned, and the satisfaction of getting away unscathed. Oh well, at least thats what I thought. But knowing now that the only result of playing with fire is getting burned, I guess I should have done things in a diffrent way.

At least I know what caused this major fuck up – myself. I never had control over myself. I could not harness my emotions, I could not leash my own actions. In the end, everything came back to me. In the end I imploded.

Oh well, I guess the saying “When God closes one door, He opens another” will be my personal mantra for the future. On a related note, I found it funny how a comic strip can be so right for the moment. Check out today’s Broom Hilda strip in The Star.

Anyways, its time to hit the sack. I got a big day tomorrow – the last 48 hours have been my most taxing in a while.

Cake – I Will Survive Lyrics

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights just thinking how you’ve done me wrong
And I grew strong, I learned how to get along

And so you’re back from outer space,
I just walked in to find you here with that, that look upon your face
I should have changed my fucking lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I’d have known for just one second you’d be back to bother me.

Oh now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now, you’re not welcome anymore.
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I’d crumble? Did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh not I, I will survive
Yeah, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll be alive.
I’ve got all my life to live,
I’ve got all my love to give,
I will survive

I will survive
Yeah, yeah…

(SOLO)

It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart,
I’m tryin’ hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feelin’ sorry for myself,
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high.

And you’ll see me with somebody new
I’m not that stupid little person still in love with you.
And so you thought you’d just drop by and you expect me to be free,
But now I’m saving all my lovin’ for someone who’s lovin’ me,

Oh now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, you’re not welcome anymore.
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I’d crumble? Did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh not I, I will survive
Yeah, as long as I know how to love I know I’ll be alive,
I’ve got all my life to live,
I’ve got all my love to give,
I will survive

I will survive
Yeah, yeah